Ick Level Over 9000

I’ve recently survived a dark night of the soul. Well... “survived” is generous. Let’s just say I’ve emerged slightly more functional, with fewer migraines (I get them with auras) and a renewed ability to put pants on before noon. Spring ended in chaos, summer began with a spiritual flu, and somewhere between a pile of unfolded laundry and way too many divination spreads, I had a revelation.No, not an ominous message from the gods. A memo from the very back of my brain that said:
“Hey, you forgot the basics. Clean your fucking house.”
Yes, folks. I’m here to talk about spiritual hygiene. Not the sexy kind with sigils and Latin incantations. The boring kind. The kind that starts with laundry and ends with you realizing your dusty windowsill may be energetically sabotaging your entire life.

Spiritual Goo Is Real, and It’s Imploding

You don’t need to summon a chthonic entity in the dead of night without protocol to end up spiritually infected (though if you did that… congratulations, you might be cooked). Sometimes, it’s much simpler. Sometimes, it’s… that weird smell in your kitchen.Because just as the physical world is full of bacteria, parasites, and sketchy alleyways, so is the spiritual one. And just like in real life, you don’t need to see a parasite to be slowly, invisibly drained by it. All it takes is:

• a few days of dishes festering in the sink,
• a corner that’s become a clutter altar,
• and a general vibe of “I’ll deal with it later.”

That’s how they get in. Spiritual yuck thrives in stagnation. Clutter holds energy hostage. Dust blocks the "chi". That pile of clean-but-unfolded laundry isn’t just judging you silently from the corner my friend, it’s creating a low-grade energetic vortex of inertia.

When the House Is Sick, the Magic Is Weak

If you’re feeling foggy, uninspired, randomly cranky, and wondering why your spells are bleh, the answer might not be in your astral temple, it might be in the state of your toilet seat.Messy homes don’t just affect you. They can:

• lower your frequency
• block manifestation
• attract opportunistic spirits and psychic parasites, and
• make your space deeply uninviting to any deity with standards.

You know who does like dirty, chaotic spaces? Spirits that don’t wash their hands. Spirits with Cheeto dust vibes. The energetic equivalent of that one guy in a stained hoodie who wants to talk to you about crypto while breathing too close.

This Is Not About Fear, It’s About Flow

I’m not here to fearmonger. Trust me, I know we are all tired and uninspired with the current state of the world. I’m not saying you need to bleach your soul every Tuesday or become a minimalist monk. I’m saying there’s a direct connection between the state of your space and the state of your energy. It’s the same reason urban planners know that run-down, trash-filled alleyways attract vandalism and violence, (I should know, I used to be an Architect focused on urban planning) while clean, green public parks encourage reflection and safety. Energy behaves the same way. So yes. That little pile of mail you’ve been meaning to organize? It’s blocking your flow. The dishes? Also blocking your abundance. The strange corner of your room you haven’t vacuumed since groceries were affordable? Possibly hosting a low-grade thought form who now thinks he is the landlord.

Don’t Forget the Physical Body Though

If your home needs to be clean for spirit to dwell comfortably, so does your body. Ritual bathing isn’t optional in most traditions, it’s standard. You can be a brilliant magician, but if you smell like a Ren Faire port-a-potty (do not recommend), do not be surprised if your spiritual allies keep a polite distance.Some spirits love you no matter what. Others, like almost every deity, may not want to hover near your BO perimeter. I can't tell you what body odors smell like in the spirit world, but ancient literature makes a huge deal about it and for a good reason. 

Start Small, Finish Clean

Want to flip the Wheel of Fortune card? Start by:

• Putting your laundry away.
• Wiping your altar (florida water is a bonus).
• Taking the trash out all the way, not just to the hallway.
• Doing your dishes. (Or get biodegradable disposable ones if you are having a really bad week. Depressed girly tip).

Then finish with the classics:

• Incense
• Florida water
• Salt bowls
• A prayer, sage, a bell

Then cast your spell. Then ask your spirits for help. Then expect results. You’ll be shocked how much smoother things run when your deities aren’t walking into your home like, “Why does it smell like stale pizza box and unresolved drama in here?”

Clean as Karma

One last thing:

Your mess isn’t just about you. Mark my words here. Please. I always think about this when I use a public restroom. I leave it cleaner than I found it. Not because I’m trying to impress the toilet gods (they had those in Japan!) but because someone else is coming after me.

Your home, your aura, your altar? Same rules. Keep it clean for whoever you become next. For your partner, your housemate, your family, the action figure of your favorite anime waifu, just do it. Leave it better for the spirits you’re inviting.Make it a place where your magic, your peace, and your purpose can live without tripping over old food cartons or emotional sludge. It’s good karma. And it’s good spiritual hygiene.Trust me. You’ll feel better. Almost instantly. Your magic will work better. And the spirits will actually want to hang out with you.