Spirituality As A Form Of Cowardice

Oh no Ana, are you really going to start this essay with an inflammatory title?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Bold move? Perhaps. But as my spirits constantly remind me I did not incarnate to be everyone's cup of tea. I’ve trained my whole life for the Rejection Olympics, and let me tell you, I’m bringing home the gold.

So, what are we talking about today?

I Was Casually Backstabbed

Recently, my close friends and I had to go through a gut-wrenching falling out with someone who, as it turns out, was playing a very different game than the rest of us. Hidden motives, spiritual delusions, and a pinch of ego masquerading as divine guidance, all wrapped up in sparkly goth aesthetic. Classic. That incident forced us to take a hard look at one of the darker sides of spirituality: when people use it as an escape hatch from reality, rather than a tool to engage with it more deeply. When spirituality becomes performance, fantasy, or even worse... An excuse to avoid adulting. That’s not enlightenment. That’s LARPing with incense.

Let's Ground Ourselves For A Moment

Let me start with a gentle but firm reminder: If you are reading this, chances are you are a human being.I know some folks like to claim they’re a Pleiadian shaman or a reincarnated Atlantean warrior or a half-unicorn light being from the Galactic Federation, but homie, statistically speaking, you are just a regularicious person in a meat suit, paying taxes and probably Googling your symptoms at 2am. Now, recently, I asked my spirits for two things: 

Clarity and Truth.

A dangerous pair of requests, as it turns out. Because when you ask for real truth, the illusion will shatter. And anything in your life that’s flimsy, fake, or spiritually cosplaying as wisdom will burn under that light. And oh baby, did it implode. In the ashes of that blaze, my friend and I had some serious conversations about the kinds of spirits people claim to work with. Because here’s the thing: if the beings guiding you are actually allies of humanity, if they care about your soul’s evolution, they are not going to be thrilled that you’re bypassing your human experience like it’s beneath you.

They want you to get messy. Fall in love. Get ghosted. Get a job. Talk to your barista. Cry on the freeway jam. Fuck it up and try again.

Living is the curriculum.

That’s the whole point. True spiritual allies will nudge you (shove you lovingly) back into the real world, where your growth happens through heartbreak, failure, intimacy, discomfort, and courage. If the voices in your head are telling you to isolate, stagnate, reject all human connection, and spiral into endless victim narratives (even when you were the one who started shit)… newsflash: that might not be your spirit team. That might be your unhealed trauma masquerading as cosmic wisdom. Or worse, a parasitic entity who feeds on your bad habits.

The School of Life

There are many philosophical lenses through which people approach spirituality: Hermetic, animist, ceremonial, devotional, chaos magick, etc. and while their frameworks differ wildly, one universal thread is this: the soul refines itself through embodied experience. Not through endless theorizing. Not through aesthetic spiritual branding. Not even through psychedellic-fueled galaxy brain downloads (though hey, enjoy that from time to time). The real initiations happen when you show up, trembling, to your own life.

Your real and sometimes boring life. 

And so yes, I believe every able-bodied adult that doesn't require medical supervision should live alone (or with roommates) in a place they pay for, at least once or at least attempt. Everyone should know what it’s like to unclog a drain at 1am, budget for groceries, and feel the quiet triumph of standing on your own two feet after working so freaking hard. There is a gritty kind of self-love that blooms from knowing you can keep yourself alive without a safety net. Without a bubble. It’s humbling. And strengthening. Which is why I almost feel bad for trust-fund kids who’ve never experienced the sacred initiation of “rent’s due and I have $13.”

It’s easy to get lost in books, or 22-tab research holes, or beautifully curated spiritual memes. But discernment means knowing when it’s time to close the book and go outside. To remember that people, even the annoying, messy ones, are part of your soul’s journey. You can’t hide from humanity forever. It will find you. And if you avoid the lessons, they’ll just loop until you finally show up and face them.

The Separation Delulu

Last, and this part matters, the endgame of responsible spirituality is not just your personal glow-up. It’s service. Magic is a tool. Yes, you can use it for yourself. And you should, from time to time. But any path that leads deeper into truth, eventually demands that you give something back. You have to do something for this wounded world too. Help someone. Share something. Show up. Get over your shit. Oh and if you are sharing "knowledge" with people, make sure you are somewhat peer reviewed in some shape or form and not that you are dragging a bunch of innocent people into some made-up harmful cult with you. And for that, you need to stop pretending you’re above the world and remember that you belong in it. This planet needs you in it.

Not hovering above it.

Because hating people and retreating into spiritual superiority isn't enlightenment, it’s teenage angst with sigils. The true sacred work? Is learning to love, serve, and participate, even when it's hard. Take care of this neglected land. Fill your cup and then share some.

And that, my friends, is a much more valuable miracle than any past life memory.